we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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