how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
