New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
