apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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