mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Two words: nipple clamps
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