No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
