Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
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