Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
