I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize