we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
