the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
