I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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