We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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