she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
