wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
