I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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