Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
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