My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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