how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Randomize
