Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
