So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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