I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Just invented taco cereal.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
