your thong is hanging out like whoa
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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