aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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