Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
