Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
