You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
