am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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