I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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