Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
its not stalking. its research.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Randomize
