We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
