ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
my nose is crying tears of wow.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
