i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize