Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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