just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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