Your tits are I can't wait for
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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