Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
