apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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