come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Randomize
