Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
