i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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