i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
