The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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