can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
