You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
