whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
