You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
