maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
