I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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