If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
