we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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